June 20th, 2019

STRESS MANAGEMENT: ON COMMUNICATION

As a therapist at a school, I find that I'm giving a lot. Being present for them takes a full tank of gas.

When I'm communicating with others, I want to listen and to be fully present. No one is perfect, but what I find is that the words people use are incredibly impactful. What are some words or phrases that make you want to listen?

"Should" suggests a demand or obligation. I am careful about giving advice without asking someone first. When do you prefer advice and how do you ask for it?

FEELING UNDERSTOOD

We all want to be heard and to be understood. Who are those people in your life that you dont't need to explain yourself? How do they provide their time?
Sometimes, at work or when I'm around acquaintances, I'm misunderstood and I might feel shameful or angry. A shift takes place when I remind myself of my values and who I am. When I am with my friends and my sister, I feel understood. I don't have to explain my actions. Who makes you feel understood?

JUDGMENTS & BELIEFS

"There is never a right time for strong emotions. But as human beings, we experience them! It's unavoidable. I have been thinking about some of the messages that society has placed upon us. But guess what? We don't have to abide by those rules.

Here are some of the examples that come to mind:
""Emotions always get in the way""
Yes, it can feel like they are inconvenient, but we have the strategies to cope with them. Feeling emotions all at once is not necessarily the goal, but rather, acknowledging them as they come up from time to time.

"Being emotional is a sign of weakness"
I disagree with this statement. You are welcome to have your own thoughts and opinions! :) Instead, having emotions makes us human and less robotic. They allow us to show kindness to other people. We are better able to connect and form strong relationships if we allow ourselves to be open about our feelings. Emotions are signals. They tell us if we're taking care of ourselves or if something hits us deeply.

What are your judgments and beliefs around emotions?