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Let’s be honest. There are days that run into the next. We might just not feel motivated, and that’s okay. But maybe there’s a part of you that wants to feel inspired. No, it doesn’t mean being happy every moment of the day because that’s not realistic. Maybe you’ll just have a few more of those moments of excitement. Sometimes we just have to trust what we’re doing. We might plan, but usually our lives veer off from those laid-out plans. When we trust ourselves, we alleviate the pressure we exert on ourselves to be where we’re “supposed” to be. Just continue moving forward and taking action like you already are. You’re already where you’re meant to be. Do something that you haven’t done for awhile. Listen to a band that you enjoyed as a kid. Or swing on the swings at a playground. The key is to return to that playful state, especially when we’ve been consumed by our adult mindset. Find a mentor. Maybe this means someone at work that inspires you. Or maybe this means reaching out to some alumni and asking them about their career paths. This is why coaches are so beneficial in sports. We often need an outside perspective and someone who has expertise in the area that we’re exploring. Create a folder. This could be a physical folder of magazine clippings or one on your phone with Pinterest pins or websites. Sometimes we need visual reminders to motivate us. Perhaps it’s a screenshot of a book that you’re reading. It doesn’t have to be the “finished” product. Remind yourself that whatever you’re working on, it doesn’t have to look “polished”. Even if you end up deleting it, you’ve got something to work with. I remember that in college, I’d wait until the last minute because I’d stare at the computer and try to perfect every sentence. I soon learned that even having a crappy sentence would mean that I’d use that idea as a jumping-off point. I’d end up keeping one sentence for every three, but the key was that I continued writing. So whether you’re writing a book or working on your next goal at the gym, we can’t expect ourselves to do everything all at once.
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What’s your habit telling you?Whether you’re adding something or getting rid of a habit, it’s often helpful if we decrease the difficulties faced with this new change. For example, let’s say that we’re trying to exercise more. You might want to start with 20 minutes, as opposed to an hour and a half. This way, you will be more likely to continue exercising on a regular basis. On the days that you are tired, an hour and a half of exercising might seem too overwhelming, but 20 minutes may seem more manageable. There’s a reason that we as a species have been alive as long as we have been. We’re focused on survival. Think about how your habit is helpful. Let’s say that the habit that you’re changing is watching less TV. Maybe watching your favorite show is something that you look forward to or allows you to relax after a long day. You might turn to it because it takes no effort. There’s always something under the surface. What you’re really yearning for is something that requires little effort because you’ve worked too many hours or you don’t enjoy your job. Or maybe TV gives you that time to yourself. Whatever you're seeking, see how you can get in that relaxation another way. This could be putting your phone on airplane mode or spending time with friends. Decrease the pain that you’ll endureThere’s a reason that habits are hard to change. They’re familiar. They’re comfortable. It makes it easier to function when we have routines. Otherwise, we’d have to think about every action throughout the day. Fewer ChoicesWhen we have so many options, we might get stuck in analysis paralysis. Instead, we need to simplify the process so that we don’t give ourselves the chance to get out of the task related to your goal. Let’s say that you want to leave the house earlier, but making breakfast always slows you down. Maybe this means that you have a yogurt or prepare your breakfast the night before. You have no other choice but to get the yogurt from the fridge and you can possibly leave five minutes earlier. Increase validationBecause it’s challenging to change our behaviors, we need spaces that reinforce what we’re doing. We need all the affirmation that we can get. Congratulate yourself by recording every time that you complete a task related to your goal. Join an online community with others that share your common goal. We need that positive feedback and understanding from others when we’re making these changes. Tell your friends about your goal and share about your progress. We, as people, we are resilient. We grow, we change, no matter what comes our way. I think that’s what makes us pretty special, no matter what our external circumstances are. We are able to push past those difficult times. So when you’re having a rough day, think about how much you have overcome. Gain some strength from that! When you feel like "everything is happening to me"...See what you can do to shift this narrative. Identify what actions you can take to play the main role in your story. Life can be tricky. Make room for yourself and what you need. Take the time to reconnect with people who know you as the wonderful being that you are. Ask your friends what they admire about you? We all need those reminders from time to time. BE open & Flexible.You might not know it, but something will come your way that will make you smile, if you’re open to it. It reminds me of that Jack Kerouac phrase about pursuing the “road less taken”. From a literal standpoint, maybe, if you take a new route home, you might run into some friends that you haven’t seen for some time, or you might see the mountains from a new perspective. Or it might be just as boring or predictable. The reason I bring up this openness, is that sometimes if we are open to something, we will land upon something that might spark something within us. Trust Yourself.I know, it’s definitely not an easy task. So how do we go about trusting ourselves? Start taking small actions that please you and only you. If you want to be bold, try something without worrying about how your actions might affect others. Of course, I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that you are kind and respectful when you try these new things. Why would these actions matter? You’re practicing what feels good to you! You’re putting yourself first, and therefore, you’ll be better equipped to make decisions that align with you and what makes you happy. Trust that you will have the skills to continue despite the rough patch you might be encountering.
You've set your goal. Maybe you're focusing on getting more sleep. Maybe you're trying to practice mindfulness three times a week. Whatever your goal is, it's normal for your excitement and motivation to vacillate. The novelty may have worn off or maybe you're still energized. Just like we're completing a puzzle, new habits take time. Change isn't necessarily linear, even though we'd sometimes like it to be. Here are 4 ways to cope with progress and bumps along the way. |
 | In these worksheets, you will find a series of prompts and exercises ... So that you can start ACHIEVING your goals now! You will gain tools to CRUSH your endless to-do list. You will find that EASE and COMFORT. YES, I'M READY TO CONQUER PROCRASTINATION! |
1. Visualize
Visualization is not only for athletes. It's been shown through studies that imagery helps us gain confidence.
So how do you use guided imagery to overcome your fears?
Write down the specific details of your fear.
Use all your senses to imagine this situation. Imagine the sounds and smells surrounding you. The idea is that you will access all the details of this feared situation. As you close your eyes, see yourself feeling confident. What does your posture show about your confidence? Imagine yourself handling the situation smoothly, whether you are using words and performing an action.
2. What's the worst that could happen?
Detail the worst scenario. Elaborating upon our fears can elicit the underlying issue related to our fear. Maybe it's the fear of being alone or the fear of not trying. Writing down these fears can take the power out of it.
3. Write a list of skills and apply them to your fear.
You're right--the worst scenario might be downright awful. It's hard when we don't know how things will turn out, but acknowledging that we have the courage and skills to get through this situation can alleviate some of our concerns. If you want to get extra credit, write about past experiences didn't go "well" and write about what you did to overcome these difficult circumstances. Reflecting upon our growth and our resources can help us work through our fears.
Goal-Setting: Connecting our Pros & Cons List with our Thoughts
Do you ever feel like, "I don't think I need to change "? Maybe it's about staying who you are, while shifting some of your habits.
If you're thinking about changing, it can be helpul to think about different obstacles or what might interfere with making this adjustment. Sometimes change is anxiety-provoking. Pros & Cons lists can highlight our level of motivation for altering our behaviors.
Here's an example: "I want to go to two yoga classes per week"
Pros:
"I will feel accomplished after going to yoga"
"I will feel more relaxed after the class"
"I want to take care of my body"
Cons:
"I have to get someone to watch the kids if I go"
"I don't know where to start. There are so many different yoga studios"
"It costs a lot, and I don't know if I can attend consistently to make it worthwhile"
Thoughts distracting me from the goal:
"I'm too tired"
"I want to hang out and relax after work "
We can shift this thought by using our "Pros" from our list:
"I might be tired, but I will relaxed after going to yoga."
"I might not want to go to yoga, but I will feel proud of myself for going to yoga"
Which parts can you relate to when making a shift?
Do you ever feel like, "I don't think I need to change "? Maybe it's about staying who you are, while shifting some of your habits.
If you're thinking about changing, it can be helpul to think about different obstacles or what might interfere with making this adjustment. Sometimes change is anxiety-provoking. Pros & Cons lists can highlight our level of motivation for altering our behaviors.
Here's an example: "I want to go to two yoga classes per week"
Pros:
"I will feel accomplished after going to yoga"
"I will feel more relaxed after the class"
"I want to take care of my body"
Cons:
"I have to get someone to watch the kids if I go"
"I don't know where to start. There are so many different yoga studios"
"It costs a lot, and I don't know if I can attend consistently to make it worthwhile"
Thoughts distracting me from the goal:
"I'm too tired"
"I want to hang out and relax after work "
We can shift this thought by using our "Pros" from our list:
"I might be tired, but I will relaxed after going to yoga."
"I might not want to go to yoga, but I will feel proud of myself for going to yoga"
Which parts can you relate to when making a shift?
Do you expect yourself to be perfect? Having high expectations for ourselves is a positive. When we're too hard on ourselves, it can keep us in inaction.
Break it down into more reasonable chunks.
Have someone hold you accountable. Let your friends and family know that you have to complete certain tasks. Make them text you to make sure that you're getting it done!!
It's okay to re-visit the task on our list. We might not do it correctly on the first try, but we can always edit or come back to it.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PROCRASTINATION?!!
Here are some things to try if you feel nervous or want to procrastnate more. :P
TEMPERATURE: Bring a frozen water bottle and place it on your forehead before the big event.
RAISE YOUR HEART RATE: Do some jumping jacks to decrease your anxiety.
BREATHE: Take a deep breath and hold in for 4 seconds. Breathe out for four seconds.
PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION: Tense and relax each muscle group starting with your toes and move up your body until you've reached the top of your head.
How do you cope with your nerves?
Break it down into more reasonable chunks.
Have someone hold you accountable. Let your friends and family know that you have to complete certain tasks. Make them text you to make sure that you're getting it done!!
It's okay to re-visit the task on our list. We might not do it correctly on the first try, but we can always edit or come back to it.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PROCRASTINATION?!!
Here are some things to try if you feel nervous or want to procrastnate more. :P
TEMPERATURE: Bring a frozen water bottle and place it on your forehead before the big event.
RAISE YOUR HEART RATE: Do some jumping jacks to decrease your anxiety.
BREATHE: Take a deep breath and hold in for 4 seconds. Breathe out for four seconds.
PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION: Tense and relax each muscle group starting with your toes and move up your body until you've reached the top of your head.
How do you cope with your nerves?
When I'm tired, I'm less likely to be mindful. I was in a meeting and I wasn't fully aware of how I was soaking up other people's anxiety. Next time, I'd like to remind myself that I might be tired and it might be harder for me to be aware of others who might affect me.
Some reminders about stress and what might get in the way of sticking to our new goals:
Identify situations that might drain your energy levels. Anticipate that it might be harder to stay with your goals when you're tired. List difficult situations and how you will cope with them ahead of time. It takes more energy to cope with stress. When we're tired, it's harder for us to maintain self-control.
Think about how schedule changes or unpredictable events might shift your behavior.
Studies show that those who did not attempt to change their affective state were better able to perform tasks requiring pain and physical stamina.
WHAT SITUATIONS HELP YOU MAINTAIN SELF-CONTROL?!
Muraven, M. & Baumeister, R.F. (2000). Self-regulation and depletion of limited resources: Does self-control resemble a muscle? Psychological Bulletin, 126(2), 247-259.
For each of these, write down how WILLING you are. What's motivating you to achieve this goal?
What's your level of READINESS to make this change? Could you start working on this goal consistently and over a long period of time?
Now reflect upon your CONFIDENCE level for each of these changes. When have you done something similar to this goal?
What's your level of READINESS to make this change? Could you start working on this goal consistently and over a long period of time?
Now reflect upon your CONFIDENCE level for each of these changes. When have you done something similar to this goal?
Do your goals align with your values?
Write down each of your values. The purpose of this exercise is to gain some insight into how we spend our time and if these activities exemplify what is meaningul to us.
List your activities related to work, home, and leisure.
Rank each of your values (10=most meaningful, 1=least meaningful)
Write down the value associated with each activity.
Example:
Value=hard-work; Activity=work
Value=family; Activity=time with parents
What did you learn about yourself? What was helpful about this exercise? What didn't you like about it?
Are you always on the go?!
Where are you in the process of change?
Stages of change
Stages of Change
Precontemplation
▪ No intention to change behavior
▪ “I have faults but there is nothing I really need to change”
Contemplation
▪ Considers changing behavior in the future
▪ “I wish I had more ideas on how to solve my problems”
Preparation
▪ Plans to make a change within a month
▪ “I have decided to make a change in two weeks”
Action
▪ Engages in new behavior
▪ “I am doing OK but I wish I was more consistent”
Maintenance
▪ New behavior has become habitual
Prochaska, James O.; Norcross, John C.; DiClemente, Carlo C. (1994). Changing for good: the revolutionary program that explains the six stages of change and teaches you how to free yourself from bad habits (1st ed.). New York: William Morrow and Company.
Stages of Change
Precontemplation
▪ No intention to change behavior
▪ “I have faults but there is nothing I really need to change”
Contemplation
▪ Considers changing behavior in the future
▪ “I wish I had more ideas on how to solve my problems”
Preparation
▪ Plans to make a change within a month
▪ “I have decided to make a change in two weeks”
Action
▪ Engages in new behavior
▪ “I am doing OK but I wish I was more consistent”
Maintenance
▪ New behavior has become habitual
Prochaska, James O.; Norcross, John C.; DiClemente, Carlo C. (1994). Changing for good: the revolutionary program that explains the six stages of change and teaches you how to free yourself from bad habits (1st ed.). New York: William Morrow and Company.
Because I'm running from one thing to the next, I'll prioritize what needs to get done for work vs. family vs. fun/friends/taking care of myself.
Sometimes we plan and then something more pressing comes up so...
I'll think about how much time I anticipate the task to take, and then I'll usually add on an extra 10-30 minutes. That way, if something comes up unexpectedly, I won't get as frustrated and adjust the amount of time needed for that task that needs to be completed.
Sometimes we plan and then something more pressing comes up so...
I'll think about how much time I anticipate the task to take, and then I'll usually add on an extra 10-30 minutes. That way, if something comes up unexpectedly, I won't get as frustrated and adjust the amount of time needed for that task that needs to be completed.
IS YOUR TO-DO LIST ENDLESS?
I used to worry about all the things I needed to do for the day.
Priorizing has lessened my anxieties.
How I generally break tasks down into chunks:
What needs to be accomplished...
In 1 hour?
In 3 hours?
By the end of the day?
By tomorrow?
In 2 days?
You get the idea!
Priorizing has lessened my anxieties.
How I generally break tasks down into chunks:
What needs to be accomplished...
In 1 hour?
In 3 hours?
By the end of the day?
By tomorrow?
In 2 days?
You get the idea!
I can relate. I used to avoid goals because I didn't know where to start. I thought that if I didn't set the goal, I wouldn't have to disappoint myself.
I no longer worry about giving up along the way. Now I've realized that "thinking big" means breaking the goal into smaller chunks and being kind to myself.
It means knowing what obstacles you might face along the way. But now with that self-awareness, you can continue to chase those dreams and transform them into realities!!
I no longer worry about giving up along the way. Now I've realized that "thinking big" means breaking the goal into smaller chunks and being kind to myself.
It means knowing what obstacles you might face along the way. But now with that self-awareness, you can continue to chase those dreams and transform them into realities!!
Before, I'd find ways to talk myself out of setting goals because I'd be so overwhelmed by the idea of starting. I only looked at the end result and thought, "There's no way".
I had no idea that it meant making small adjustments. With each shift, I found myself gaining confidence and seeing progress overtime.
I had no idea that it meant making small adjustments. With each shift, I found myself gaining confidence and seeing progress overtime.
Find balance in all that you do.
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